Even though I was not an original founding member of the Debacle, my presence in the Nation unquestionable. Some consider me to be the “Superman of the Debacle Nation”. At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be “Clark Kent, Dentist,” because I could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, “How’s my back tooth?” and I just looked at it with my X-ray vision and said, “Oh it’s okay,” then the patient would probably say, “Aren’t you going to take an X-ray, stupid?” and I’d say, “Aw fuck you, get outta here,” and then he probably wouldn’t even pay his bill.
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