A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk:

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“Dddooo youuuu hhhave dddddiilllldosss?”

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The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: “Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models.”

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The old woman then asks: “Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong, aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk… aaand rrunns by bbaatteries?”

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The clerk responds, “Yes we do.”

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The old woman asks: “Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo ttturrrnnn ttthe ssun oooff aaa bbitchhh offffff?”