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Tickle-Me-Elmo

July 22nd, 2008 by Bunny

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo Toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.

The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door.

The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.

He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factoryfloor.

When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo’s all over the factory floor and they’re really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stood Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo’s.

She had a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watched in amazement as she cut a little piece of fabric, wrapped it around two marbles and began to carefully sew the little package between Elmo’s legs.

The Personnel Manager burst into laughter..

After several minutes of hysterics he pulled himself together and approached Lena.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said to her, barely able to keep a straight face, ‘but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday…’

‘Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

If you don’t send this to friends right away, there will be fewer people laughing in the world!

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Smart-Ass answers

July 18th, 2008 by Bunny

SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
‘Would you like dinner?’ the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
‘What are my choices?’ John asked.
‘Yes or no,’ she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat, she said, ‘Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.’

SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store

but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, ‘Do these turkeys get any bigger?’
The stock boy replied, ‘No ma’am, they’re dead.’

SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the cop said.
The kid replied, ‘Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.’
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, ‘ Low Bridge Ahead.’

Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.

The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,

‘Got stuck, huh?’

The truck driver says, ‘No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.’

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam.

She says ‘Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate

family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!’

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

‘What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?’

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,

‘Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.’

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